Year 5!!! Every year we’ve had this brand, I’ve said it’s been the most transformational year, but this year I actually think it might be true. And I think that’s because even five years in, we had more firsts than ever. Last year, we spent so much time building and preparing for the opportunities we begged to come, like getting SG on Doechii (came true) or landing a brand collaboration (also came true). We were laying the foundation, trying to make sure we would be ready whenever that moment arrived. But as those opportunities arrived, they tested us, our foundation, and our ability to be self assured and trust the work we’d spent the last year putting in, along with the clarity we’d built around the brand.
Self assurance, especially in an industry where everyone tells you that confidence is the key to success, that you need to manifest what you want, that you should fake it til you make it, is so much harder with two chronic second guessers.
Ironically, I can say with confidence that Devin and I are some of the most opinionated yet least self assured people we know. In searching our texts I found 27 entries for “Do you still love me?” and 11 for “Are you mad”. Professionally, we're particular, but always softening our ask with an apology. We’re constantly checking in to make sure we didn’t misread a situation and nuke an opportunity.
Maybe it's because five years on top of zero experience is still pretty fresh. Maybe it's because we don't want people to confuse self assurance with certainty, or worse, arrogance. Maybe because the internet is forever. Or maybe it’s because every year we have a little bit more to lose than the year before.
But I think what we’ve learned this year is that self assurance and trust isn’t just a confident mindset but evidence. It’s saying you’re going to do something and then following through. It’s hitting the deadlines we set for ourselves even though we own the company and can move it. It’s writing this blog every year even though I'm a slow writer and always wait until the very last minute. It’s answering people’s production questions without a disclaimer like “maybe I’m wrong though” because after 5 years, I might actually know something. It’s Devin saying she’s going to quit her job and THEN DOING IT, making it work, and seeing her happier and more creative than I’ve ever seen her.
But following through on these decisions hasn’t been easy, or without sacrifice, lots of tears, and many moments spent totally drained on the corner of our couch. We’ve always believed that no one has it all, and that everything comes with tradeoffs. Going all-in and delivering on these opportunities meant we were less present elsewhere. It meant we had to find balance however we could, letting some deadlines slide, course-correcting in real time, and having some hard conversations.
It was a year of many firsts but we're ending 2025 so excited for what's ahead. It was the first year we paid ourselves (I hate that I’m admitting this hahah). It was the first year Devin went full time. It was the first year we had brand collaborations. The first time we threw a wrestling event. The first time we threw a fake wedding!!!
I hope in 2026 we find more balance, we get more comfortable with the potential of making a wrong decision, and become more self assured. And I hope we have many more firsts!!!
Anyway maybe you will read this in the back of your uber on your way to a new years party. I’ll be on my way to sit on Devin’s couch in my pjs. Happy New Year!